UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORTING THOSE WITH SUICIDAL FEELINGS. Hope, Help and Healing.

Suicidal thoughts are not a character flaw. They are not selfish. They are not dramatic, weak, or irrational.

They are a sign that someone is in psychological pain so intense, so consuming, that they can no longer see a way forward. Often, it is not death itself they want — but an end to the torment. The emotional noise becomes deafening. The exhaustion, unbearable. The brain, overwhelmed.

When someone feels suicidal, they are often trying to solve what feels utterly unsolvable — using the only option they can still see.

Why Suicidal Feelings Arise

Suicidal ideation doesn’t come from nowhere. It can stem from a build-up of distress, emotional injury, trauma, or long-standing mental health struggles. It may come in after grief, abuse, shame, betrayal, isolation, chronic pain, or exhaustion. And it can happen even to those who appear outwardly functional — or even "fine."

Psychologically, suicide can begin to look like a solution when:

• The person feels trapped with no escape

• There’s a sense of being a burden

• Emotional or physical pain is constant and unrelenting

• They've tried everything they can think of, and nothing has brought relief

• Their internal world becomes cut off from hope, logic, or perspective

This is not weakness. It’s a crisis of capacity — when the nervous system, mind, and body reach breaking point. It’s not selfish — it’s desperation.

It’s Not a Permanent Desire — But It Feels Like It Is

People who survive suicidal episodes often say:

“I didn’t want to die — I just couldn’t keep living like that.”

That distinction matters.

Suicidal thoughts often come in waves. They're intense, but they do pass, especially when the pain is validated and supported — not judged or minimised.

It's important to understand:

• Most people don't want their life to end — they want the pain to stop

• The feeling of hopelessness is real, but it's not permanent

• With the right support, people can and do recover — and go on to live fully, meaningfully, and even joyfully

What Not to Say

Even well-meaning people can say things that deepen the shame.

• “Stop being silly” – This dismisses what is a very real, terrifying feeling.They’re not being silly. They’re struggling. Desperately.

• “Don’t be so selfish” – This isn’t selfishness. It’s suffering. It's not about attention; it’s about pain they can’t contain.

• “You’ve got so much to live for” – While meant to help, this can land as guilt or pressure. They likely know they have reasons. But right now, they can’t feel them.

Instead, say:

• “You're not a burden. You're struggling, and I’m going to help you get the support you need.”

• “You matter. Not because of what you do for anyone — but because of who you are.”

• “You’re my friend, and I want to help. You don't have to carry this alone.”

Why Reaching Out Matters

Suicidal feelings can make people withdraw, isolate, and shut down. This is where the danger lies — because the thoughts intensify when they are hidden.

Professional help offers more than just someone to talk to. It offers:

• Relief from having to carry everything alone

• Tools to regulate the nervous system and shift perspective

• A safe, non-judgemental space to untangle pain that feels overwhelming

• Help processing trauma, grief, or despair that's been locked away too long

• Restoration of hope, even if only in tiny fragments to begin with

The right therapy doesn't just listen — it helps you move forward. That’s why integrative approaches like BLAST, EMDR, hypnotherapy, Havening, and sound therapy can be incredibly effective. They don’t just treat the surface. They reach the root of the pain, safely, and work at the level where it’s stored — in the body, nervous system, and deeper belief patterns.

If You’re Supporting Someone Who Feels Suicidal

What they need most is not fixing. Not panic. Not positive quotes. They need to feel safe, heard, and not alone.

Here are some ways to help:

• Listen without rushing to solutions — let them speak, even if it’s hard to hear

• Validate their pain — saying “I hear how unbearable this feels” is more powerful than “don’t think like that”

• Avoid minimising — steer away from phrases like “others have it worse” or “cheer up”

• Stay calm and present — let them borrow your steadiness if theirs is gone

• Reassure them — not with platitudes, but with presence: “You’re not alone. We’re going to get through this. Together.”

• Help them access support — whether that’s therapy, crisis services, or a GP

• Follow up — again and again. Being remembered matters.

Your belief in them — without pressure — can be life-changing.

To Anyone Who’s Feeling This Way

You are not broken. You are not failing. You are not beyond help.

You are in pain — and it’s valid. But pain, even this pain, is not a permanent state.

There are methods — real ones, grounded in science and practice — that can help. I've worked with people who thought they would never find peace again. And I’ve seen that change.

Therapy that goes beyond surface-level conversation — therapy that blends body, mind, and energy — can change everything.

You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to keep pretending.

You just have to begin. One small step at a time.

If You Need Help Now

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, always contact emergency services.

For urgent support:

• Samaritans (UK) – 116 123 (Free, 24/7)https://www.samaritans.org

• SHOUT Textline (UK) – Text SHOUT to 85258https://giveusashout.org

• Papyrus HOPELINEUK (for people under 35) – 0800 068 4141https://www.papyrus-uk.org

If you’re ready to explore therapeutic support in a way that’s safe, modern, and entirely tailored to you, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly. No judgement. Just a space to breathe again — and a guide to help you move from just surviving, to truly living.

You are not alone. You are not a burden. And this isn’t the end — even if it feels like it.