Men, Mental Health and why therapy is like owning a car

You wouldn’t run your car on empty and expect it to get very far. You wouldn’t ignore a red warning light or pretend the engine noise would just go away on its own. Yet so many people – especially men – treat their mental health this way. They push on, patch things up with distraction or denial, convincing themselves that needing a tune-up is weakness, when in fact, it’s just smart maintenance.

Every vehicle has its quirks, its strengths, its purpose. Some are sleek sports models that thrive on adrenaline and open roads, others are reliable 4x4s built for endurance and carrying others when the terrain gets rough. You get the no-nonsense vans, the vintage classics that need a bit more love, the hybrids juggling power and efficiency. None is better than the other. Just like in life — the artist isn’t more important than the engineer, the therapist no greater than the tradesperson. We all play a role, and just because someone looks polished on the outside doesn’t mean there’s not a backlog of warning signs under the hood.

A car needs oil to run smoothly. Your mind needs downtime, laughter, rest. A car needs clean fuel — the right stuff going in — and so do you: in food, in thoughts, in relationships. Keep feeding it poor quality and sooner or later you’ll feel it start to splutter — inconsistent mood, burnout, brain fog, even lashing out at the people you love. If the engine’s gummed up, everything feels harder.

You wouldn’t keep revving the engine while ignoring the smoke pouring out the back. When your exhaust needs a clear-out, you take the car on a good run to let it breathe. The same goes for your nervous system — movement, expression, proper release. Holding it in and hoping for the best doesn’t work. It needs space, not shame. Sometimes, it’s the pressure valve that saves the whole system from a total blowout.

The horn on a car is there for a reason — it’s a way of saying, “something’s not right here.” Your anger, your anxiety, even your sadness are the same. They’re not the enemy — they’re your dashboard lighting up, letting you know it’s time to pull over and check in. And just like indicators help others know which direction you’re heading, learning to communicate — even just a little — helps people in your life understand how to show up for you.

You wouldn’t hand your keys to someone who didn’t know how to drive — so why let unkind thoughts, buried stress, or someone else’s opinion take the wheel of your life? You wouldn’t ignore a leak that’s slowly draining your engine. So why ignore the energy drains in your day-to-day?

Every car, like every person, runs better with regular care. You don’t need to strip the whole thing down — just get to know your model. Notice what helps it thrive, what knocks it off balance. Sometimes it’s a full service. Sometimes just topping up the tank and checking your tyre pressure makes all the difference.

Mental health isn’t just about breakdowns. It’s about how you drive through life. And no matter your make or model, you deserve a journey that feels good.

Going to therapy is like taking the car to the mechanic for the job you need two sets of hands to fix. I can't fix your car, but I can help you heal.

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