Ease the stress of Christmas

sara carson
Dec 14, 2025
3 min read

The Hidden Costs of Christmas

One year, my eldest reminded me of a Christmas when it was just the two of us. Dinner was beans on toast, and we shared three very cheap bottles of wine that were only just drinkable. Yet it was totally relaxing, peaceful and stress free — in fact, it was one of our best Christmases ever.

My youngest remembers another Christmas filled with balloons and bubbles. The whole day was spent balloon fighting and running around after bubbles, with a carton of juice, an apple, and a chocolate bar in her stocking.

As an adult she recognises that was a tough year financially, but she still calls it her best Christmas. Not because of the presents, but because of the feeling — the laughter, the simplicity, the memory that stayed with her. Se recalls not remembering many presents over the years, but she remembers that day.

The pressure of comparison

It’s easy to feel inadequate when you see piles of presents stacked six feet high under expensive trees with immaculate decorations. Social media and advertising whisper that you’re not doing enough, not giving enough, not being enough.

But Christmas is not about showing off. It is not about greed. It is not about spoiling the next generation.

It is about connection, memory, and meaning. When we take away the commercialism we make Christmas great again, and virtually stress free.

The hidden layer: social guilt

Christmas isn’t always about festivities and fun. It can be lonely, hold sad memories, and leave parents with a feeling of guilt. It can include being mindful of partners or family members that just disrupt everything or are incredibly hard work. Sometimes the pressure comes not from money but from expectation — like being told you should invite Uncle Tony because he’s on his own. You feel guilt‑tripped into asking him, because it’s Christmas.

But lonely people often struggle when they sense they’re only asked out of obligation. A single invite in December can feel hollow if there’s silence the rest of the year. A healthier approach is to make contact once or twice during the year, so Christmas isn’t the only time you reach out. And if Uncle Tony really is too much trouble and likely to cause conflict, you can still show care without sacrificing your peace. Invite him for a New Year lunch instead, saying honestly: “We need some space this Christmas, but we’d love to see you — let’s book a date.” And then make that date.

Why financial stress hurts more than wallets

When we make Christmas simple, we take off the pressure of the “perfect dinner” and the immaculate table. The truth is, it’s only one day — and no one really notices. They’re too busy eating or chatting, and the table is cleared some 40 minutes later. How many Christmas tables can you remember vividly from your childhood?

But the financial stress can last into the year, stretching out that awful feeling of never being good enough, always being broke. For what? One day? We buy presents we can’t afford for people we sometimes wouldn’t ordinarily buy for — with things they probably neither want nor need, just to be able to hand over a present leaving ourselves short and feeling guilty.

Practical ways to ease the strain

Simplify traditions: Balloons, beans on toast, or a single chocolate bar can be enough.
Communicate openly: Share with family that this year will be about presence, not presents.
Pause before spending: Ask yourself if the purchase adds lasting value or just momentary relief.
Offer meaningful IOUs: A night at the movies, a home‑cooked meal, or something personal like a day out in the summer, that actually means something.
Plan recovery time: Build in quiet days to let your body and mind reset.
Notice what matters: Children often remember the laughter, the games, the atmosphere — not the price tags.

The long‑term view

Short‑term fixes like simplifying gifts or deferring difficult conversations can diffuse stress. But the deeper change comes from recognising that memories outlast material things. Protecting your finances and your health ensures that future Christmases aren’t overshadowed by debt or exhaustion.

What to carry forward

Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It doesn’t have to include everyone under one roof. The moments that stay — the beans on toast, the balloons, the laughter — are proof that it is memories, not presents, that count.

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