BPD, EUPD, Broken parts or just misunderstood ?
- sara carson
- Mar 30
- 5 min read
I've had a fair few clients come to me saying I am their last resort, yet they leave with positive outcomes. And they leave with positives outcomes, because in my eyes they are more than their issues, and far more than their diagnosis.
I've also found that with EUPD, UPD and BPD that none (of my clients at least) were diagnosed in childhood, but in their teens or later. And when we start looking into their lives, we find that rooted in the seat of these issues - is trauma. We learn that suicide ideation isn't about wanting to die, but wanting the pain to stop. That awful persistent barrage of issues and thoughts that break you down so badly that you just can't see any other way out.
We label people for two reasons really. One to simply give them an answer to what they are feeling. So boxes are ticked, a diagnosis made and medication given. For some, the client has a diagnosis that helps them to understand - for others, it gives them a label which now makes them feel they can never heal. Let me tell you right here, now now that is not true.
All those things over the course of our life, especially those we are unable to deal with for whatever reason, or bury sometimes, becomes one big mess. Between us, the therapist and client, we have to break down all the contributing factors, depression, trauma, fear, anxiety, self esteem, self worth, confidence in small bite sized chunks. This is because the overwhelm of all these things makes, what are effectively lots of different issues one big one that feels like a mess.
It also takes someone with knowledge, experience, a real sense of care and understanding to work through with the person suffering which residing issues are needed to be worked on first. Aside from that, different techniques for each individual need to be considered, because what works for one person does not necessarily work for another. Progress in some areas can be very speedy but in others it can take time. Your mind is accustomed to what is familiar and breaking free of that familiarity can sometimes be problematic.
A client of mine who aged 66 was on very long term antipsychotic drugs, numerous anti depression and anxiety tablets and also having non epileptic seizures with neuropathic problems, is for the first time in 50 years, coming off her meds. This was thought to be impossible by the all the teams supporting her.
Seizures caused through the repeated damage of abuse and trauma where her nervous system was damaged, have been absent for three months. Neuropathic pain is reduced by some 80%. Not only that but she is happier, brighter, and for the first time in her life can recognize that her traumatic memory of being persistently told, and thus then believing she was 'sub-educationally normal', was totally false.
No one can learn well when they are severely traumatized.
She has excelled in the last year with various difficult to achieve qualifications and expertise. You really are never too old for profound change.
Not all therapists are created equal however. Some become stuck in their ways and are are afraid to step outside the box.
A good therapist works with what suits the client not what a text book tells you to do, because you yourself do not come with a text book, and even if you did, there are so many variables in every situation memory and interpretation.
I am not suggesting for one moment that all of those with mental health issues should ditch their medications after a few sessions of therapy, but what i am saying is that this lady was virtually written off. She has shown beyond doubt that with the right therapist and the right help and support you can not only thrive, but you can excel and totally change your life.
Addictions to drink, drugs, bad relationships and even mental health medications can often (not always) be as a result of trauma. That need to numb, or block out pain or use as a crutch to get you through each day. And my experience is that the adults who come to me with BPD or EUPD, were not diagnosed as children, but as adults.
Deep diving into what they feel and why usually reveals that these symptoms are as a result of trauma. Trauma doesn't have to be re-lived when you work through it. For some it is helpful and the best way forward, for others who perhaps have little memory or have blocked out the events, just working through the feelings somatically can have a huge release.
Therapy should never be about one modality. For complex issues, it is about mind body and soul. A good therapist will work with you - see what fits - what YOU need and tailor what they do to make sure you get results. They will also support you with that journey.
I believe that there are very few people who cannot be helped. The key is always that you want the help and will work at the things you are taught until they become second nature. Therapy really can be life changing, not just the I feel better stuff, but the big - life changing stuff.
And trauma, anxiety and depression do not have to come from big events. They depend on where your nervous system at that exact time that the event happened, or prolonged exposure. Learning how to cope with events and triggers really can change your life.
I don't believe anyone is broken or beyond help. Providing you- as the client/patient put in the effort and do the things that are suggested to you, and that your therapist is suitably trained and cares enough, there really is hope. Look for trauma trained not trauma informed. Results always vary of course, depending on the amount of effort you as the client put in, and of course, your own ability to do those things.
But change can and does happen even in those cases that were literally written off. The client I mention has had a life so full of trauma that it breaks your heart. No human being should go through what she has been through. She is open about her story in a bid to help others recognise that healing is more than possible.
You are not broken or beyond repair. Even a small improvement can change your life, and often each small change you make has a positive knock on effect on the other things that have been problematic in your life. You are important, so are your thoughts feelings and emotions.
Choose the right therapist. Work with the healing. Believe in YOU. Change can and does happen.
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